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Bella Blossom (WIP)

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Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 3:25 am

Name: Bella Blossom
Age:13 (Yes I changed it)
Apperance:

Yellow pigtails, Grey sweater, Grey shorts, Purple shoes with black hearts, Black eyes.
Ethnicity: Human, British.
Allegiance: Hero
Origins: Magic User
Powers: Fire Blaze: Blossom users Fire Blaze to throw to her foes as they were like fireballs.
Strengths: Bella is helpful at times, even when she tries to find answers about it. She will report to you immediately when she has her clues, info, and theories.
Bella can dodge things. Not everything though, It would be overpowered if she dodged everything. Plus it would be boring.
She also can memorize things, She uses it by if someone forgets something important or asks where it is and where to find it. This can help you and other people too.
Bella is an honest person so she is open-minded to whatever she has to confess.
Weaknesses: She can get hot headed at times, If you make her mad then she will hit you or maybe even worse, push you into a fusion.
Personality: She is an artistic person, whenever she is bored, she draws, and whenever she sees something interesting, she draws it.
Bella is autistic That's why you can see those traits in her weaknesses and strengths.
History:
Bella moved here in Townsville when she was 9 because of powers, some years later, when Bella was 11 and a half, Her family started to notice something with her. They took her to the doctor to see what was wrong with her and they said she had autism. So after 2 years later, she was living her everyday life and practicing her powers. Till she noticed something, She was getting ready to fight in the war and say goodbye to her family.
Do you use nanos: No.


Last edited by Haruchanfan9 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 7:54 am

Alright, considering Bubbles and the puffs were created via chem x, she wouldn't be considered a biological cousin. As from Canon, we know the professor has a brother as well. It could be possible that brother is her father or she's from further up the family tree and is a second cousin to the professor.

Origins would just be human as well.

For strengths missions aren't strengths in this rp and cooking is right out. Explain how defense and fighting are strengths to her.

Lying is a personality trait, explain how it is a weakness, I wouldn't think Chem x is a weakness, it's been proven to give temp super powers to people.

Personality needs to be more expansive. We need 3 positive traits and 3 negative traits

History needs to be expanded upon, giving details of early life and her growing up etc. I'd also read the family rules that are in the required reading section.

Ethnicity would be things such as Spanish, Brazilian, Japanese etc.


Last edited by zerowing21 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Professor Utonium on Mon Sep 19, 2016 2:32 pm

Yikes, this character needs some fixing.

The Origins section should just say human.

You need to go in depth in the Strengths, Weaknesses, and the Personality. Why are these her strengths, and likewise, why are these her weaknesses? Elaborate on how Chemical X even fits in with Bella in the first place.

Your character cannot be directly related to the Powerpuff Girls as per our family rules. As Zero mentioned, it is possible for your character to be an indirect cousin through the Professor's brother, but I would advise having no family ties to the Puffs.

Your history makes absolutely no sense in our already established world. Revisit the required readings section and go over the official timeline before rewriting your history.

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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Kyra_Xyrespace on Mon Sep 19, 2016 6:08 pm

Haruchanfan9 wrote:Allegiance: My OC will be fighting Planet Fuse

Heroes.

Origins: Biological cousion of Bubbles. Wanted to help defeat Planet Fuse when she was ten. Gets sick if she drinks Chemical X

This goes to history. All I want to know is whether they're a member of one of these or a human.

Strengths: Missions, Defense, Fighting, and Cooking

Is she good at missions? Easy, medium, hard missions? How is her defense good? Why is cooking a strength for her?

Weaknesses: Lying, Chemical X, and Singing

Why would singing be a weakness?

Personality:Loner,Depressed,Shy

Expand and balance out.

History:Bella was only 10 when the first invasion happened. Her parents died when the invasion came. So she had to live in a orphanage where she had to live till she 15. Then, 2 years later, she knew when Planet Fuse was coming back. She trained while she was 13 for two years. Two years later, Planet Fuse attacked,

First of all, Fuse never left. He launched his attack and then hung around the planet, waiting to see the results. Second, in this RP, Fuse's invasion began six years ago. That would put your character at nine years old.

Do you use nanos: Bella uses nanos of course.

Bella can only use Nanos if she's human.

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Edit Bio Of Bella

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:09 pm

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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:25 pm

Im still trying to edit this. I think I get done at 7:00 MST.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:50 pm

We request you edit your first post with this information and tell us what you have edited. Please, take your time, no need to rush the creative process.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:53 pm

I guess what you mods said me to do. I'm bad at making ocs.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:55 pm

Everyone is at first. Don't be down about it. We're here to help ya improve on this. Don't fret about it. Just do your best and we'll see you through it.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:57 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Everyone is at first. Don't be down about it. We're here to help ya improve on this. Don't fret about it. Just do your best and we'll see you through it.
I know. I did a oc which was bad and the OC was just a copy cat. I watched some videos and I will try to practice Very Happy What a Face
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 10:03 pm

Ok for the history, Fuse never left earth nor do we call this the world of CN. We just call it earth and leave it at that. The war has been going on for a total of six years. *four of which we've rped* So please correct the ages and what not. Also for her parents, are they siblings of the professor or cousins via an aunt or uncle.

The weakness of singing because she can't have time for anything isn't really valid, even during the war there is downtime for her to practice and try to sing.

I'd like to point out, you need 3 strengths and weaknesses.

As for the personality, we'll help you expand it but it feels like a hodge podge of traits. I would suggest you look at other profiles and see how they set up the personalities in those.

Sorry if I'm being rough on this with ya. practice is all you can do. Try to do your best with making this oc stand out and not make her a copy cat. I know you can do it.
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What I removed/added

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 10:25 pm

1. Removed what you ask me to.
2. Removed Creep and Jokester
3. Added a clumsy trait
4. Removed Cooking
5. Added Changed name in history.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Professor Utonium on Mon Sep 19, 2016 11:02 pm

Tell us what Atom X is, since it is not canon as we know it. Why does Chemical X matter to Bella?

What are her personal relationships to Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? Did she grow up alongside them? Does she think of them differently since they were created, not birthed? Are they close?

I would find it highly unlikely that a 15-year-old could legally change their last name. Also, Eugene Utonium didn't come off as the rich uncle in the show. I would either explain how he came into his wealth or just say they were a normal family altogether.

I am, again, going to advise you that perhaps cutting the family ties to the Powerpuff Girls will make this OC easier to create.

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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Fri Sep 23, 2016 10:08 am

Done, I think it still needs some edits.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Fri Sep 23, 2016 7:19 pm

Considering there is nothing in her history about the Chemical X, you will either put something in the history to explain why she was messing with it and the atom x or take it from the weaknesses since Atom X doesn't sound believable since we don't have growth magic in the rp. Chem X gives temp powers to people if a little is used and perma powers if alot is used. (Bullet is the best example of that)

The bad at singing weakness, doesn't really add up to me. Just because she had no time for it because of education, doesn't mean she couldn't make time. Now if she had a bad singing voice and hurt others while doing it, that could be seen as a weakness.

Can you please write a bit about each personality trait to explain them?

I'd like some more details on her history, like very early life, stuff with family, etc.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 6:15 pm

Uh... This is going to get updated soon so sorry because I didn't know how to make a good O.C at the time.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 6:30 pm

Well, we here to help ya learn how to create an good oc. Take your time on the edits and no need to say your sorry. Just do your best.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 6:31 pm

Well I already know, I'm making it again.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 6:35 pm

Alright. If you need help while remaking, just pm me or one of the other mods.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 6:40 pm

^-^ Okay
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:11 pm

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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:14 pm

As I said in my PM, please edit this new profile into the first post of this topic. It will prevent confusion on what you've done in the past.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:18 pm

I edited it deleted message now.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  zerowing21 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:19 pm

Alright, but please edit the first post of this thread with the update profile of your character.
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

Post  Haruchanfan9 on Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:21 pm

M'kay
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Re: Bella Blossom (WIP)

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