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Donald Chuck - Space OC (The second coming)

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Donald Chuck - Space OC (The second coming)

Post  Donald Chuck on Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:34 am

Donald Chuck the space chicken
Age: 24
Ethnicity: Space
Race: Chicken from Outerspace
Allegiance: Neutral
Powers: He can float for short periods of times, He can build walls with his psychic powers, He can also pull a lazer gun out of seemingly nowhere.
Origins: Alien, But also somehow the second cousin to cow and chicken.
Appearance: 24 inches, small beak, pure red eyes, green feathers around the face, white feathers for the neck and body.
Strengths: He is good at ranting (meaning he's pretty decent at winning arguments by yelling I guess), Small, Is pretty fast on his feet.
Weaknesses: He's pretty weak physically, He rants about Eggplants too much (this annoys people), He's easily stepped on.
Personality:He hates Eggplants and will constantly interrupt people just to tell them how much he dislikes Eggplants. He's also not the brightest chicken on the block, but he cares for his fellow chickens. He's good at communicating with everyone that isn't an Eggplant. He's very determined when it comes to things he has his mind set on.    
History: Coming from a race of intergalactic conquers he was one of the many space chickens who were stranded on earth when a magnet pulled his ship out of the sky, when the fusion war started a fusion spawn that he confused for a Eggplant killed his father leading to him devoting his life to taking down the mutant Eggplants no matter how many times people tell him the Eggplants haven't actually done anything wrong. Donald doesn't really help out much with the fusion war as he doesn't see Fusions as the main enemies and he's very dedicated when it comes to his opinion that Eggplants are the real enemy everyone should be fighting.


Last edited by Donald Chuck on Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:47 am; edited 2 times in total
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Donald Chuck

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Join date : 2016-07-13

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Re: Donald Chuck - Space OC (The second coming)

Post  zerowing21 on Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:41 am

There was no need to repost this character. You could have simply edited the one that was some like 20 threads below.
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zerowing21

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Re: Donald Chuck - Space OC (The second coming)

Post  zerowing21 on Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:45 pm

Alright here we go

Don't need Ethnicity since he's an alien.

How can he be a second cousin to cow and chicken (and thus a cousin to maybe boneless) if he is an alien. Explain how it is possible.

Ranting about eggplants is not a weakness, it might annoy people, but it doesn't really affect him all that much.

Ranting also doesn't mean you are good at arguments, it just means you vent and vent and don't allow others to speak, it would not make a good strength. Now if you said he was a good debater than maybe.

You need to expand his personality to beyond just dealing with egg plant stuff.

Not like eggplants isn't something that deals with personality, it deals with a preference so take that out.

The history needs to be longer, tell us of his childhood. How does the ship being pulled into the Nowhere triangle deal with his history. Was he born before or after the event. If it was before, get rid of it.


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Re: Donald Chuck - Space OC (The second coming)

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