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Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

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Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Tue Aug 18, 2015 8:23 am

Name: Zeytran
Age: 700, Immortal(He cannot die of old age, but can from sickness and other sources)
Ethnicity: None
Race (If your OC is an alien): Full Demon
Allegiance: Chaotic Neutral
Origins: Demon
Powers:

Magic

as well as able to create White Flames. Zeytran himself studies in Sound magic, which is rather strange due to his family coming from a long line of Pyro's and Noctem's. Zeytran prefers to use Sound abilities, a signature move is Charm Voice.

He can also teleport in a flurry of White Flames The distance varies between a five inch radius to a 20 feet radius at a time. He can, at max distance, travel maybe twice, if at 10 feet then maybe three times. Each max teleport drains him, and he could eventually pass out if he does it twice at max radius. Maybe five teleports when not on max before draining.

White Flames are just fire that is white, they hurt a lot though.

Sonic Shockwave, High, Zeytran will focus Sonic power into a concussive blast(drains a lot of energy). Sonic is Sound, he make a concussive shockwave. It can propel those within the 5 feet radius to stumble, maybe even fall. Drainage is dependent on how much energy is used.

Charm Voice, Medium, Zeytran can combine Sonics with his natural Alluring nature into a Charm Voice, which can influence decisions sometimes however Zeytran tends to use this often, it is essentially a Bard's power except named different.

Natural Allure, a Passive ability, it makes others more willing to do Zeytran's bidding, also known as an Alluring Aura, low level

Sonic Shriek, Medium, Zeytran can release an unhuman level of sound, be they just a noise, a word or something of the like. If someone is close enough, as in, directly in front of Zeytran, less than 2 inches away from him, they will be pushed back.


Appearance: Disguised to be more human in appearance, Zeytran has pale skin. He has ebony hair, and black feathered wings prodding out of his back. Zeytran's eyes are a dark violet. He wears a simple pair of Jeans, sneakers and a T-Shirt.


Strengths: Zeytran is very intelligent(yet is shy to show this) and he knows a lot about Demon and Magic(He knows a lot about Demons, famous demons, powerful demons etc, and he's very smart when it comes to magic, able to identify the schools and sort, as well as knowing much about individual schools yet not practicing most of them), he also has a photographic memory of the Fusion Fall Universe(most of it, anyways. The locations the RP is in, he can instantly point out a location on a map). Zeytran also is very agile, and has above natural strength


Weaknesses: Lux Magic, remembering things, his forgetfulness/blackouts and his ADHD, he can't sit still and that isn't good. His naive nature, well, he's...for lack of a better word, immature. He really doesn't grasp the concept of being manipulated, and he is like I said, optimistic, perhaps too optimistic. This can lead him into trouble. I myself would count those as weaknesses, or bad things.


Personality: Zeytran is optimistic and slightly immature. He is very naive about things, and does not truly grasp the concept of evil and good. Despite this, he can be very sarcastic and prone to fits of anger. He's not very confident in his abilities, which is worsened by his blackouts, to which he sees as an embarrassment. Somewhat of a inferiority complex, Zeytran idolizes almost any Demon he meets, showing particular fondness for Demongo, the Abyssal Family and Him. He's terrified of Aku. He in turn considers himself far less than them and usually manages to make everything he says a compliment to them, and he usually compares himself to them as inferior.

Nartyez is Sadistic, Cruel and Vicious. An utter Sociopath and Psychopath, Nartyez has no conscience and cannot feel remorse. He views himself as superior to all other life-forms and has no qualms about killing. He particularly detests humans though. He is highly immoral and sadistic, to the point of psychotic. He'd gladly dissect something while it's alive.

History: In the Underworld, there were two inseparable "friends": Demongo and Zeytran. One day, Demongo saw Zeytran being bullied and taking pity secretly thinking he had potential as a servant, decided to help him out with his souls, Zeytran thanked Demongo and started to follow Demongo around, asking to hang out. Demongo, tired out by his persistence, agreed to shut him up.

Demongo himself was amused and entertained by Zeytran's antics and child-like behavior, and they eventually started hanging out more often partially due to Zeytran's persistence and due to Demongo seeing potential. Demongo often pitied Zeytran. They both bonded over a mutual fascination with Magic and Souls, where Demongo stride in Soul Stealing, Zeytran couldn't even perform it on a mouse. This however made their bond "stronger", showing Demongo he had no competition in the Soul Stealing business, much to Aku's chagrin (?) As Demongo tried to help his friend, Zeytran eventually quit and he pursued other interests, such as elemental magic, he then discovered Sound Magic through his Elemental Magic studies, and was fascinated! While most of his family would study Pyro or Noctem, he decided to be different and study Sound Magic, to make himself an individual.

Demongo started to pressure him to be rude to others and, eager to impress his only 'friend', did these things. His family pressured him to study Noctem or Pyro and give up Sound Magic, to which he refused. They disowned him as a result, feeling he would 'tarnish their reputation'. From his Stress and Anxiety, Nartyez was born.

Demongo all the while, was manipulating Zeytran to become hateful and despise the world yet be loyal to Demongo. Demongo tried to break Zeytran's innocent nature, but during a fight between the two, that's when he learned his special talent: He naturally gives off an alluring aura, and if that wasn't enough, he could focus it enough into a charm voice, through intense concentration. Later, Demongo tried to pursue Zeytran, in which they ended up arguing. Zeytran, fed up with it all, attacked Demongo angrily, giving into doubt. Zeytran failed and fled, of course. He felt extremely guilty at attacking Demongo, so he disappeared from the underworld. Zeytran wandered around for a time, before the war started.

During a few of his travels, Nartyez took full control and had begun a murder spree, and massacred entire towns(not large one). During another of his travels, Zeytran in a way, transformed thanks to a Potion he drank. Nartyez once again took control shortly afterwards, and continued his murder spree. When cornered by the police, Nartyez panicked and learned he could teleport around. He managed to kill the cops with Charm Voice, convincing them to kill each other. Zeytran didn't know much about fusions and initially thought they were cool, till they started attacking him. That's when he was dismayed to learn that his Charm Voice didn't affect Fusions, as their fusion matter was capable of resisting it.
Do you use nanos: Only Humans are allowed to have Nanos, so no tongue


If I need to change anything, lemme know and I'll try.

Other: The 'blackouts' is in actuality when Nartyez takes control, neither are truly aware of each other.


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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Professor Utonium on Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:32 pm

Your OC cannot be directly related to Demongo.

http://rp.fusionmodhq.com/t6-must-read-rules

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Kaiser on Tue Aug 18, 2015 8:20 pm

I suggest you read the required readings.
....
As Prof mentioned, he can't immediately be related to Demongo. He also can't be immortal or steal souls.

Strengths: Magic, mostly Dark Magic, Teleportation and Telekinesis
That goes under powers and the striked out aren't allowed.

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Wed Aug 19, 2015 1:23 am

Professor Utonium wrote:Your OC cannot be directly related to Demongo.

http://rp.fusionmodhq.com/t6-must-read-rules

Um, it doesn't say I can't be directly related to Demongo. The only demons I can't be directly related to are
Him
Aku
The Demon Family (Elyon, Jarvek Kilroy's family)

Kaiser wrote:I suggest you read the required readings.
....
As Prof mentioned, he can't immediately be related to Demongo. He also can't be immortal or steal souls.

Strengths: Magic, mostly Dark Magic, Teleportation and Telekinesis
That goes under powers and the striked out aren't allowed.

Read my other reply. He can't steal souls, that's why its a weakness. Immortality, hmm. I hope you know that it just means he doesn't die of age or disease, yes? He can still be killed or defeated in combat.


Last edited by Kyra_Xyrespace on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:01 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Double posting)
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Professor Utonium on Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:30 pm

youngjusticeforever wrote:
Um, it doesn't say I can't be directly related to Demongo. The only demons I can't be directly related to are
Him
Aku
The Demon Family (Elyon, Jarvek Kilroy's family)

Aku created Demongo, therefore he cannot have a brother.

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  zerowing21 on Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:09 am

The personality thing seems very ripped off and if he was created by Aku, I doubt and I mean this, highly doubt that he would have ADHD and MPD. He's look is just a pallet change of Demongo and not even his own person. Soul stealing can't be a weakness, because its not an allowed power anyway, so take it out.  I would like it if you also dropped the attitude you've been showing, because it's not winning you any points with me or the other Admin. So stop can it with acting like you know better and change it. I also highly suggest you look at the required reading section.
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Kyra_Xyrespace on Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:40 am

youngjusticeforever wrote:Alias: The annoying brat brother of Demongo

As Prof and Kaiser have already informed you, this isn't happening. As the byproduct of Aku, he is protected under the "No relation to [X]" rule.

Origins: ?

Demon. This is where you would put Demon since that is the origin of his powers.

Magic(mostly Dark Magic),

What sort of magic? What can his spells do?

as well as able to create White Flames,

So this is completely different from his magic? His magic can't make flames that burn white, so, on top of some magic spells that we don't even know what they do, he's a pyro?

and finally Telekinesis(and I can use it, because Them uses it, so it's the same restrictions)

Yes, Them uses Telekinesis. Who says it can't happen? What the Rules say is
Massive psychic abilities (No mind control, no memory manipulation, no hypnotic spells, no lifting buildings or cars, no precognition)

He can use Telekinesisis, but if he's lifting up a car with that power the Mods are going to jump in.

Appearance: Imagine Demongo, except smaller, with a higher pitched voice (is that possible?), and instead of blue, it's White, and no skulls on his chest

Change up his appearance because it sounds like Demongo with a change of color, which isn't very original. Copying from an existing source is already a no-no as described here.

Weaknesses: Soul Stealing

Not a power; not a weakness; not allowed.

remembering things,

Explain. He not only has a great memory (because you placed it as a strength of his), but he also has photographic memory. Both of these indicate that he has nearly impeccable memory. So why is it then that you then proceed to place "remembering things" as his weakness. Either he has great memory, or he's forgetful. One or the other.

Sorrow is the next personality and is extremely morbid, pemmistic and cruel, not to mention sadistic. Sorrow takes delight in causing others misery, but Sorrow can only take hold when the others are extremely weak. Sorrow loathes all beings with a vengeance, minus Joy, Zeytran and Demongo of course

If this is supposed to be like Inside Out where the personalities are like their emotions, then you have Sorrow completely screwed up. Nothing about this is sorrow; nothing. Sorrow is, as Merriam-Webster describes it, "a feeling of sadness or grief caused especially by the loss of someone or something." How does this equate to your version?

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:59 am

Professor Utonium wrote:
youngjusticeforever wrote:
Um, it doesn't say I can't be directly related to Demongo. The only demons I can't be directly related to are
Him
Aku
The Demon Family (Elyon, Jarvek Kilroy's family)

Aku created Demongo, therefore he cannot have a brother.

Where does it say Aku created Demongo? It's a likely theory, but unconfirmed. Beides, Demongo is a powerful Demon(nowhere near Aku) but it's still possible he could've made the brother himself.

zerowing21 wrote:The personality thing seems very ripped off and if he was created by Aku, I doubt and I mean this, highly doubt that he would have ADHD and MPD. He's look is just a pallet change of Demongo and not even his own person. Soul stealing can't be a weakness, because its not an allowed power anyway, so take it out.  I would like it if you also dropped the attitude you've been showing, because it's not winning you any points with me or the other Admin. So stop can it with acting like you know better and change it. I also highly suggest you look at the required reading section.

I don't think he was created by Aku...that'd just end in his death Razz But I figured that their are clearly different TYPES of demon, and the one's that Demongo belongs to, would look similar to him, and since Zeytran is his little brother, it's probably, note probably, going to be smilar.

Attitude? I'm sorry if you thought I was giving attitude. And I already looked at it.

Kyra_Xyrespace wrote:
youngjusticeforever wrote:Alias: The annoying brat brother of Demongo

As Prof and Kaiser have already informed you, this isn't happening. As the byproduct of Aku, he is protected under the "No relation to [X]" rule.

Origins: ?

Demon. This is where you would put Demon since that is the origin of his powers.

Magic(mostly Dark Magic),

What sort of magic? What can his spells do?

as well as able to create White Flames,

So this is completely different from his magic? His magic can't make flames that burn white, so, on top of some magic spells that we don't even know what they do, he's a pyro?

and finally Telekinesis(and I can use it, because Them uses it, so it's the same restrictions)

Yes, Them uses Telekinesis. Who says it can't happen? What the Rules say is
Massive psychic abilities (No mind control, no memory manipulation, no hypnotic spells, no lifting buildings or cars, no precognition)

He can use Telekinesisis, but if he's lifting up a car with that power the Mods are going to jump in.

Appearance: Imagine Demongo, except smaller, with a higher pitched voice (is that possible?), and instead of blue, it's White, and no skulls on his chest

Change up his appearance because it sounds like Demongo with a change of color, which isn't very original. Copying from an existing source is already a no-no as described here.

Weaknesses: Soul Stealing

Not a power; not a weakness; not allowed.

remembering things,

Explain. He not only has a great memory (because you placed it as a strength of his), but he also has photographic memory. Both of these indicate that he has nearly impeccable memory. So why is it then that you then proceed to place "remembering things" as his weakness. Either he has great memory, or he's forgetful. One or the other.

Sorrow is the next personality and is extremely morbid, pemmistic and cruel, not to mention sadistic. Sorrow takes delight in causing others misery, but Sorrow can only take hold when the others are extremely weak. Sorrow loathes all beings with a vengeance, minus Joy, Zeytran and Demongo of course

If this is supposed to be like Inside Out where the personalities are like their emotions, then you have Sorrow completely screwed up. Nothing about this is sorrow; nothing. Sorrow is, as Merriam-Webster describes it, "a feeling of sadness or grief caused especially by the loss of someone or something." How does this equate to your version?

Demongo isn't a creation of Aku, so unless I see some actual confirmation on that, I'm going to not change it, and confirmation from someone who knows for sure.

I don't know, what are limitations on the Magic here? Yup, he's pretty much a Pyro. He doesn't like making flames but he will.

I promise I'm not going to have him lift around cars or move trees Razz

His memory is near impeccable on certain subjects, I apologize, I probably should've cleared that up.

This isn't like Inside Out. It's just that Sorrow is a sadistic cruel being, who when he takes charge, acts gloomy and depressed.  Besides, I haven't seen Inside Out yet, SO NO SPOILERS!!! Razz

Listen, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm giving attitude, it's just that we have no actual confirmation that Demongo is indeed a creation of Aku, it's theorized not confirmed. Besides, I didn't see Demongo anywhere non the Family List you can't be apart of, so there's that too. Demongo is a possible creation of Aku, I cannot deny it's a possibility. But, we have no confirmation, and frankly, I don't see why I can't be related to Demongo in this RP, if you could tell me kindly where you got your sources on the Aku/Demongo relationship, and on why I can't use Demongo, I would appreciate it Very Happy

Also, I'm the type of person that needs actual confirmation, so..speculation isn't going to work, honey. Razz


Last edited by Kyra_Xyrespace on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:03 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Double posting)
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Blueyedemoness on Thu Aug 20, 2015 7:26 am

youngjusticeforever wrote:

Demongo isn't a creation of Aku, so unless I see some actual confirmation on that, I'm going to not change it, and confirmation from someone who knows for sure.

I don't know, what are limitations on the Magic here? Yup, he's pretty much a Pyro. He doesn't like making flames but he will.

I promise I'm not going to have him lift around cars or move trees :P

His memory is near impeccable on certain subjects, I apologize, I probably should've cleared that up.

This isn't like Inside Out. It's just that Sorrow is a sadistic cruel being, who when he takes charge, acts gloomy and depressed.  Besides, I haven't seen Inside Out yet, SO NO SPOILERS!!! :P

Listen, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm giving attitude, it's just that we have no actual confirmation that Demongo is indeed a creation of Aku, it's theorized not confirmed. Besides, I didn't see Demongo anywhere non the Family List you can't be apart of, so there's that too. Demongo is a possible creation of Aku, I cannot deny it's a possibility. But, we have no confirmation, and frankly, I don't see why I can't be related to Demongo in this RP, if you could tell me kindly where you got your sources on the Aku/Demongo relationship, and on why I can't use Demongo, I would appreciate it :D

Also, I'm the type of person that needs actual confirmation, so..speculation isn't going to work, honey. :P

Quck question on Sorrow-- how can he like seeing people miserable and be cruel if he acts gloomy and depressed...? Or is that like initially what he acts like but then as he stays out longer he turns out into a malicious being that gets joy from causing pain to others?

And that may be true in the show's canon but let me tell you we are having Demongo being created from Aku in our roleplay's canon. That means that for our roleplay's universe this fact is true despite if it is or isn't true in the actual show. And even if you don't buy that There is still the fact that Demongo is dating Elyon who is also part of the Demon Royal Family and a family that is banned from having any blood connections to. Thus he has a connection to them and is unable to have a brother/sibling/relative.

And even if you still argue with this with us well then tough luck. We're not going to accept your Oc until you put him as one that is not connected to Demongo and other family's/people on the list. Me especially because demon Ocs are usually my territory and I will absolutely refuse to give this an okay even if you flesh him all at as Kyra has asked you to until you change his ties to Demongo. If you don't like it then I'm sorry but that's how the rules are here.


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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  zerowing21 on Thu Aug 20, 2015 10:32 am

Young, if a mod tells you to change it or even an admin, it's better to comply than try and fight against them. I would also advise you to address all posts in one posts, instead of trying to farm for posts too.

It's a good bet Demongo was created by Aku and if we're going with it, you listen to us on it. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but you HAVE to change it. Our word is law on here.

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Kyra_Xyrespace on Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:49 pm

youngjusticeforever wrote:Demongo isn't a creation of Aku, so unless I see some actual confirmation on that, I'm going to not change it, and confirmation from someone who knows for sure.

A.) Show proof he isn't. You're so adamant about it, prove it. Don't give us feelings and possibilities, shows us proof.
B.) Two mods and an admin already told you it isn't happening.
C.) Blue eloquently explained to you why Demongo is a creation of Aku; because it's RP Canon. This site follows the Canon rules of shows and if things are left unexplained, we fix them in the RP. Demongo's history past him serving Aku is a mystery, so RP Canon has him being a creation of Aku; ergo, he is protected by the Ruling.


I don't know, what are limitations on the Magic here?

That's not our job. That's your job. You are to explain his spells and give them a power level (low, medium, high). You are only allowed 6 spells.

This isn't like Inside Out. It's just that Sorrow is a sadistic cruel being, who when he takes charge, acts gloomy and depressed.  Besides, I haven't seen Inside Out yet, SO NO SPOILERS!!! Razz

If he's depressed, truly depressed and not pseudo-depressed, he isn't doing anything. When a person is depressed, they're not motivated to do anything. A person who is depressed has absolutely no motivation to even get up. So explain how that would work out for Sorrow? Just call him Sadist since it makes more sense than Sorrow.

But, we have no confirmation, and frankly, I don't see why I can't be related to Demongo in this RP, if you could tell me kindly where you got your sources on the Aku/Demongo relationship, and on why I can't use Demongo, I would appreciate it

A.) RP Canon
B.) It's been long since determined (this RP is from 2012, but was moved here in 2014 so it's running 3 years, not 2) that Demongo was Aku's creation since it makes sense on why he follows him so much. Ergo, as state multiple times, he's protected under the ruling thanks to Aku.


Also, I'm the type of person that needs actual confirmation, so..speculation isn't going to work, honey. Razz

Don't call me honey.


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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:25 pm

zerowing21 wrote:Young, if a mod tells you to change it or even an admin, it's better to comply than try and fight against them. I would also advise you to address all posts in one posts, instead of trying to farm for posts too.

It's a good bet Demongo was created by Aku and if we're going with it, you listen to us on it. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but you HAVE to change it. Our word is law on here.


Please, call me YJF. Also, I just'd rather like the information, also, I don't know how.

It's a good bet, not confirmed. "Our word is law." Yeah, uhm. I guess that means I'm out. Yeah. Um....bye..yeah...bye
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Mr.Didathing on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:32 pm

You ever think the big issue here is just general inflexibility?
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  zerowing21 on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:33 pm

How about this, the character is a massive Demongo Fanboy and dresses up like him.
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:40 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:You ever think the big issue here is just general inflexibility?

That's not my issue. My issue is that the entire thing I based Zeytran off of, as Demongo's sibling. Everything came FROM that original concept. I thought "What do I want?" I wanted a sibling of Demongo. Then it all branched off from there, I don't think I can even change it, and Zeytran is my self-OC, so if I didn't use him, it would just feel wrong. But, what I really don't understand is, Demongo isn't married to Elyon, even then, unless it turns out Aku is related to them, that'd make Demongo and Elyon cousins, which...just no. So, even if Aku is the creator of Demongo(which alone, I'd think Aku would have some sense of family pride and wouldn't kill Demongo for one failure, but even then that's UNLIKELY...sooo IDK) but, like I said. Everything about Zeytran was branched off of that he is Demongo's brother, and Zeytran is my self-OC, so it'd just be wrong not to use him, so I'm not sure how I can change Zeytran....

zerowing21 wrote:How about this, the character is a massive Demongo Fanboy and dresses up like him.

He's a Demon, but, in theory, that is POSSIBLE, I'd just have extensive redoing that need to be done...*sigh* this is going to be a long orbital-cycle.


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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Mr.Didathing on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:51 pm

I meant inflexibility on both sides, mate.  In situations like these it's best to aim for a compromise.  If you can't change anything without starting from scratch, starting from scratch is just the way to go.

Best option: forget Zeytran, read up on the rules, and go back to the drawing board.

Also, Aku and Elyon totally aren't related.
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:56 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Also, Aku and Elyon totally aren't related.

Then, technically, by canon rules, the only "family" Zeytran is related to is Aku, I think?
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  zerowing21 on Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:58 pm

No one can be related to Aku, that's in the rules. Only Demongo can be related to Aku since he's canon.
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zerowing21

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Mr.Didathing on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:00 pm

Hey, focus. It's obvious Zeytran is more trouble than it's worth, so just drop it and try something else, k?
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Mr.Didathing

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:04 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Hey, focus.  It's obvious Zeytran is more trouble than it's worth, so just drop it and try something else, k?

No. He's my Self-OC, I can't just "drop" him like I could another OC. That's essentially dropping myself, which I don't think is actually even possible Razz
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youngjusticeforever

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Mr.Didathing on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:07 pm

Protip dude, self-inserts usually don't make for great characters.  You're letting yourself get too attached to something that's more of a detriment than anything else.  It's not (nor will it likely ever be) in the condition for us to accept, so if you can't just make another one that has just as much passion but more thought put into it, I don't know what to tell you.

Don't take that as an insult, but when you have a character this incongruous to the thing you're trying to feature it in, the only feasible option that makes sense is to let it go.
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:13 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Protip dude, self-inserts usually don't make for great characters.  You're letting yourself get too attached to something that's more of a detriment than anything else.  It's not (nor will it likely ever be) in the condition for us to accept, so if you can't just make another one that has just as much passion but more thought put into it, I don't know what to tell you.

Don't take that as an insult, but when you have a character this incongruous to the thing you're trying to feature it in, the only feasible option that makes sense is to let it go.

Self-Inserts, okay I can guess. But I don't think it's impossible. As for your comment, I find it highly implausible for it to never be acceptable, I just need to know the diameters of the Aku/Demongo relationship, because, based on what I know, Zeytran wouldn't have any blood ties to the Royal Demon Family(almost typed fire lol), nor could he ever, there's also the fact that Zeytran and Demongo are estranged.

The main, base thing, is his relationship to Demongo, I branched everything, even his NAME and appearance, off of his relationship to Demongo: Brothers, I can live with some changes, heck, a lot, but I can't just get rid of his core.
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youngjusticeforever

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Mr.Didathing on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:19 pm

Ok let's work out the logistics of this; how exactly does he and Demongo being brothers work? All of the others (who you've conveniently completely ignored) have poked a million holes in why this doesn't really pan out, beyond the whole relationship thing.

If he can't work without his "core" then you should do what I said and junk the character.
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  youngjusticeforever on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:22 pm

Mr.Didathing wrote:Ok let's work out the logistics of this; how exactly does he and Demongo being brothers work? All of the others (who you've conveniently completely ignored) have poked a million holes in why this doesn't really pan out, beyond the whole relationship thing.

If he can't work without his "core" then you should do what I said and junk the character.

I don't know what you are asking. What do you mean by how it works? I haven't ignored anyone, I've just replied and am awaiting them.

I'm not junking the character. I'm not saying he can't necessarily work without his "core" it's just going to be insanely difficult to explain several things, and I don't know how to even explain it without that aspect.
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youngjusticeforever

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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

Post  Mr.Didathing on Thu Aug 20, 2015 2:30 pm

You didn't reply to Kyra's second post, or Blueeyedemoness, who both raised some valid points: I.e all of them. How the depression works, how the powers work, how you "can't work off speculation" and yet that's exactly what you do.

If you can't just take the aspects of him that work and transplant them into an overall better character then the fact is you're going to be stagnant, arguing over this in circles to no avail for ever and ever.
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Re: Zeytran, the alluring Demon [Removed]

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